The Butterfly Effect

Hey y’all 

I wanted to post this post on the New Year but I guess life has been getting in the way.  No promises but I’m going to try to post at least once a week from here on out. 

I saw this picture and it spoke to me. The last couple of years have been rough to say the least finding yourself is never easy. But somehow I’ve seemed to stumble along my way and back to where I belong. 

Something I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned I have a tattoo on my shoulder of a butterfly. I originally got the piece done because of some quote I saw when I was young something like “ A butterfly doesn’t know its own beauty because it can’t see its wings” something like that. I struggled with self esteem issues my entire life so I got that done so when I saw it I’d remember that I was Beautiful even when I couldn’t see it. 

Now 7 years later it means so much more to me it’s reminded me to give myself time because a butterfly doesn’t just pop up a butterfly it takes much time and work to get from caterpillar to butterfly. So when I saw this picture I decided to look up the process. We all know they are an egg but then are at the caterpillar 🐛stage and they eat leaves and avoid birds and inch around. We also know eventually they emerge from the cocoon a beautiful butterfly fluttering around gracefully.  So the question becomes what the heck goes on in that cocoon? It’s doing much more than just growing wings losing its baby fat. The caterpillar is in a way digesting itself, thats why if you try to open it up gooey yucky stuff comes out. I was reading an article on it the caterpillar once it reaches its Chrysalis phase or cocoon depending on what type of caterpillar it is, it releases a juvenile hormone that like dissolves a lot of it 😳😝 Its called Metamorphosis. 

I know intense!! The craziest part is no one knows whats going on in there it looks so quiet on the outside like it’s sleeping.  Thats how I’ve felt over 2017 like it’s been the Best and Worse Year ever, like somehow I was the most successful and failed the most but it’s funny because failures seem so much larger than successes don’t they? I wonder why that is? I wonder why we are so hard on ourselves. Well, Idk if y’all are but I really am, measuring my life to other people who are around my age as if we are running the same race or even as if they have it all together or if i’d know or not anyway. The way social media is set up everybody's life looks together, everybody's selfie is perfect. Is any of it real? One of my favorite pictures on the internet is Michael Phelps in one of his races where he won a gold metal and its mid-race his opponent is glancing over at him and he’s focused on the task at hand. The caption says Winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners the first time I saw that picture I decided never again would I run my race for anyone but me.  I think its a form of abusing yourself I refuse to be that hard on myself. I’ve decided to give myself a break I’m doing the best I can and hey my track record for getting through tough days is pretty good. lol I’ve made it through every single one of them. But I digress…

Back to our little caterpillar in her cocoon completing her Metamorphosis so now we know she’s going through pain on the outside, definitely discomfort. (But we know where theres comfort you won’t grow so thats expected.) The caterpillar also changes its thinking completely as well. She literally is changing to a different creature. She somehow knows how to fly gracefully, and no longer has a taste for leaves but the nectar of flowers; her behavior is completely different because she is different.   It’s Amazing how God makes creatures that way, how the butterfly does all of this by instinct. How we change and evolve and sometimes are completely oblivious to it.  Speaking of evolving; I find it amusing that people use the evolution theory to say there is no God. I think it’s just further proof that He not only exists but is Amazingly Omnipotent Ever present and fully aware of all of our needs and has supplied them before we even know we have them. Let me be clear I do not believe humans evolved from monkeys, but I do believe that God created this world to operate on its own and the creatures with in it prepared for whatever it may throw our way. 

Thats how I feel in 2018 like its the year of the Butterfly just like in this simple picture. 2016 thinking I’m ok with my life inching around eating my leaves as a chubby caterpillar lol. 

2017 the pain and change.

2018 The Beautiful result. 

If I’m being honest I haven’t seen too much of a difference yet but its something I just know. This first week or so has been rough but maybe thats because I’ve been fighting my way out of my cocoon. Struggling half way in and halfway out waiting to fly ready to complete my Metamorphosis. It’s scary yet I feel God in it somehow, letting me know everything is going to be ok sometimes its difficult to have the faith… an internal struggle. It has occurred to me that I haven’t mentioned him much but it is important to say it is my Father in heaven who has given me this revelation that has helped me understand my last 3 years. 

The scripture for this week that ties all of this together for me is Galatians 6:9 “Let us not grow weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap the harvest if we do not give up.” In other words Do not give up God is here and has a plan, he always did, he knows whats best and at the opportune moment we will realize and obtain all of his blessings he has in store. 

Welp this has been this weeks edition of My Life as a Christian Girl. 

As always Thanks for reading,

xoxo

Bri